So, hubby and I are on yet another one of our many journeys to Wally World and we notice groundhogs here and there grazing alongside the "big road".
For the most part they looked well fed and happy in their business of munching on the state maintained salad bar in the medians.
We catch a glimpse of one groundhog that causes hubby to remark "look at that raggedy groundhog". That's all it took to get us started on the possible history of this unfortunate woodchuck. We decided that based upon his disheveled appearance he must be homeless. We're fairly certain he prospered at some point in his life but had obviously fallen on hard times. While the others were lounging in the more lush areas of the highway, "Homeless" was off by himself in the sparse patches of greenery.
Maybe, just maybe he wasn't homeless due to the economy. Perhaps he has a criminal background and has been shunned by groundhog society. Banished from the normal life of the woodchuck world? Finally, this groundhog could have been a complete fraud. To lazy to work he prays on the sympathies of his fellow woodchucks who in turn bring him nuts, berries and an occasional plump grub. It's all in our twisted imaginations.
Years ago my daughters and I traveled from NC to AZ, our home state. While visiting my Dad we all decided to take a walk to the local pizza joint and order his favorite item on the menu...stromboli.
As we're trudging along in the heat and dust, Daddy tells the girls to be sure to watch out for the Sandpacker Snakes! I know what's coming and am already laughing to myself. The girls are falling hook, line and sinker for Grandpa's warning and ask "what are Sandpacker Snakes"?
He tells my girls that the Sandpacker Snake isn't poisonous, it won't bite, but it's very sneaky and travels in pairs. They creep up behind you and one will wrap around your leg. When you bend over to try and get it off, the other one pokes sand up your butt!! They were mortified yet thought it was really funny and typical Grandpa.
We're driving home after a day of once again spending way to much at Wally World when we see a single goose walking along side the road. Odd. We've seen plenty of other wildlife foraging on their own. Good examples would be groundhogs, crows, squirrels, hawks, even dogs and cats...never a goose!
The sight of this single goose got us thinking. Why was it alone? Perhaps its' mate had tried to cross the street and not quite made it? Maybe it just went through a really tough divorce and wasn't in a hurry to find another mate? I even considered it may have been cast out of the flock for being a complete asshole, but that makes no sense. There's an asshole goose in every flock. You know the one. It charges you even though you come with a loaf of stale bread under each arm. So much for that theory.
We've decided that it was a rabid goose. Even though we understand this is completely impossible, just the thought of a rabid goose is hilarious yet terrifying. Imagine the scene at a peaceful pond when suddenly behind you there's a sickening growling/honking! You turn quickly only to come knee to beak with a goose...feathers missing..foaming at the mouth...perhaps dragging one webbed foot behind it!?
After spending more time than we should have on the subject of rabid geese, we turned our attention to an idiot pulling one of those mini-U-Haul trailers. We were in one of two left turn lanes, he was in the other. As the light changed, we turned in our lane and this moron decided he liked ours better and came over, narrowly missing our van. He was oblivious to us.
