As Visions of Semi-Colons Danced in My Head

  Not sure where to go with this. We've been trying to make jokes about hubby's impending surgery. We think of things such as he's losing a colon but gaining a "semi-colon". I've chosen to nickname it "Frankintestine".



  Not long before Thanksgiving hubby started experiencing sharp pains in his lower abdomen. Because he has a history of kidney stones he felt this was simply another attack.





 This has happened one other time since we've been married and after one of the most horrendous rides to the ER  I've ever experienced, I swore I'd never take him again. I understand he was in agony, but he was demanding I run through stop signs and red lights to get him to the hospital faster. With this attack, or what we thought was a kidney stone attack, he hopped into a cab for his ride back and forth. I meant what I said. His options were to take a cab, a limo or I was going to call for an ambulance. You know, if you're not in an immediate need for extraordinary medical care..it's cheaper to hire a limo than an ambulance.  

  After this supposed kidney stone assault he was sent to a urologist who in turn performed surgery on dear hubby. He was left with a stent between his kidney and bladder. At the end of this stent was a long line hanging out of the end of his dip stick!!! I'm not sure if it was threadlike, a wire or a piece of fishing line. I never looked! After two weeks of walking around with this foreign object implanted in his insidie parts it was time for the doc to remove it. This brought about some interesting scenarios. Hubby was hoping they'd knock him out for the procedure. He invisioned the doc standing over him and yanking on the "wire" as if he was attempting to pull start a lawnmower!! As it turned out, the doc simply pulled the entire apparatus out in one clean stroke.

  Reveling in our ignorant bliss we assumed that all was well.



The stones were gone..we missed Thanksgiving but could still have a wonderful Christmas. We were delusional. In less than a week hubby's pain was back and worse than before! Two more trips to the ER where it was finally discovered he has diverticulitis. There was a large abscess on his colon. He's scheduled for his second surgery in less than a month. When it's over he's sporting a drain tube which is exiting his tummy just below his belly button. At the end of this tube is what the nurse lovingly called a "grenade".

Seriously, it looks like a clear latex grenade. We preferred to call it a pineapple. Seems less menacing. A few days ago the doc removed the drain but hubby will have to have surgery in February to removed the weakened section of his colon. I understand this is a fairly common procedure...but in all honesty...I'm scared shitless!

We thought perhaps it was just crappy luck having two different health issues back to back, but now we're beginning to suspect it was the diverticulitis all the time! The kidney stones were there, but they were in a peaceful mode with no plan of attack. But, we're not doctors and it serves no purpose to second guess what's happened. All we can do is hope that once he has the surgery, he'll be good as new.